i am fucking growing fatter back again! stupid weighing scale glaring back at me with 5-0.. fuck la.. i've been eating anything and everything which contrasted so much to my attitude towards food before this.. it used to be- oh coke cannot.. sweet stuff cannot.. and practically anything that i touch i wud tink abt how it wud affect my weight... now.. ya Allah.. everything i bantai.. now i jus tink- oh waddahell.. jus eat la.. fuck wat everyone tinks.. den i feel guilty AFTER.. urghh.. i really need to get some exercising done but in my best fren's words.. "You exercise? the only thing i know you exercise are your brains and mouth".. i would have killed him if he wasn't my best fren and if he wasn't so truthful.. so yeah.. i suck..  =(

anyway it's really amazing how i'm so very reluctant to give up singlehood rite now.. to all those who laid bets of few weeks to two mths can go eat your hat now.. hahahahahaha! i tink i need to see guys of different names.. you would too if within the span of one and a half months you've seen 2 Hishams, 2 Shafiqs, 2 Zuls and 2 Firdauses.. in no particular order of cos.. fucking creepy i tell ya..


gtg now and get ready for shooting.. den got smth big on friday.. shall not jinx it first.. but i'm uber uber excited.. it is enuf to make a lot of ppl eat their own shoe i tell ya! hahah.. i'm sucha loser.. take care guys! muah!

i have a lot of things to post abt since da past whole month but i haven even had da time to sit down and create one whole story.. and i tink by now i forgot like half of the things i wanna say already.. why? cos i've been too busy partying every nite and going out every single freaking day.. it's like freedom finally after a whole year plus of being confined from things i wanna do and like once i've broken free it all comes out in excess.. do i even make sense? doesn't matter.. it wasn't meant to make sense anyway cos no one can even make sense of this happiness i'm feeling..

anyways.. going to batam with the best fren tomoro.. he needs a massage badly and cos i'm da best fren i'll be accompanying him (and enjoying everything there also la).. and i'll be partying yet AGAIN at nite for ashton's birthday.. jeez... let's see if i'm in the mood to blog abt everything else soon enuf.. toodles!

my best fren just said the funniest thing ever..

"Don't worry la nad, if i ever get married to you, i'll be faithful to you. Really. Probably the most unfaithful thing i'd do is sing the song 'Unfaithful."

hahahaha.. damn funny la he.. my best fren says the darndest things but i love him still. haha!

i'm sorry but thank you for?

oh my gawwwdd i'm like so excited! this sat and sun i'm gonna have full-day shootings for the upcoming thing that i was talking abt and and and and the directors and producers are like the veterans of suria! so so the very the egg-citing!! and plus i might be doing a lot more than jus this project!! oh mann.. the prospects in me appearing in their next two movie projects and getting to travel all!! oh i'm feeling so darn ass lucky i tell you.. pray for me!


p.s. aisyah babe.. sorry bout the zouk thing this sat aight? i promise if shooting ends early i'll join you.. but it's tentatively ending ard midnight la so might be a prob =(

alright.. let's get some updates done..

here's some peektures from da birthday outing with the gurlfrens!



this was the cake they surprised me with at the door.. heavenly chocolatey & truly yummy it was!



greatest company to celebrate your birthday i swear!



with my burfdae present, a bag from Bebe.. see how happy i was! hehe.. loved it gurls.. thank you so much again!

and last fri's flesh imp and coke zero event was fun! here are peektures!



and thank you yilin for being there too! i must see you soon!!



and this week has been crazy much.. was going out almost everyday.. monday went to watch Hellboy.. quite a yawn to me though.. i hope the dark knight would top this one.. wed was pretty crazy.. went ice-skating.. couldnt stop laughing throughout da entire thing.. i had my personal trainer who held my hand throughout da whole time and he ended up falling with me.. damn funny.. den there was once i was by myself and i fell and he was rushing over to help me up and end up falling himself before he even reached me.. damn funny la.. den we went bowling.. first time in my life learning those two things like for real.. hah! here's peektures again!



den i met aisyah and nasye.. wanted to go for supper but aisyah declared dat we needed to go galavanting.. well the singles at least.. haha.. so we ended up at acid bar but decided we needed more fun so we headed over to mos.. and yeah.. impromptu clubbing moments are always the best!

thurs i was a good girl cleaning up the entire house.. friday i met aisyah, giff and sarah and we went to zouk but da dj was spinning more of electro in phuture so we headed over to mos.. today went to godmom's place for good ol homemade lasagne and brownies!

well.. somethin nice coming up next week.. hopefully everything turns out well.. i cant wait! will update again once everything is on its way so as not to jinx it.. hehe..

nite lovelies!

Take a bow- Rihanna

How 'bout a round of applause
Yeah...
Standing ovation
Oohhhh... yeah
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah...

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

[Chorus]
Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
And baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on
Talkin' about, girl, I love you, you're the one
This just looks like a re-run
Please, what else is on

[Chorus]

And don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show...
Very entertaining
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Ohh...

And the award for, the best liar goes to you
For making me believe that you could be
Faithful to me
Let's hear your speech ohh

How about a round of applause
A standing ovation

[Chorus]
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow...

But it's over now

the birthday week has started! well since last fri at least.. (actually it started way back during the kl trip but updates of that can be found in khadi and syah's blog.. heh)

started off with yilin giving me a dinner treat at Thai Express last fri for an advanced burfdae dinner.

mon my godmother made a mini advanced burfdae celebration at her place for me.

tues was superb! i was fetched from home and was brought to Dempsey and had dinner @ Margaritas.. food was pretty tasty and the surprise was when the staff came to our table singing happy burfdae to me with a heavenly chocolate brownie and vanilla ice-cream complete with a sparkler on it.. i was so embarrassed cos the whole restaurant was looking but of cos my best bud was damn happy seeing me embarrassed like dat.. thanks eh.. then i was brought to ben and jerry's where i had a final tasty treat.. very sinful nite.. prob put back all the weight i've lost..



See how much i loved my ben and jerry's? heheh..

wed nite.. technically last nite was spent with da girls.. they surprised me with a burfdae cake at my house door which was really sweet of them.. den we ended up in clarke quay and club-hopping.. thank god for the creation and implementation of ladies nite.. haha.. and i so love the bag from Bebe that they bought for me! pretty much!

i'm not sure yet the turnout for tonight but i tink it shud be equally good.. anyway.. tomoro nite i'll be doing an event for flesh imp again together with CokeZero at butter factory from 7-10pm.. tickets are limited so if u guys wanna come den text me asap.. and of course it wud be a continuation of the party last nite! cant wait!

sat and sun i'll be off to malacca to celebrate it with the family=)

anyway.. jus to share some good news.. i've lost 4kilos in 2 weeks.. everyone's telling me i look smaller now.. even da bf is amazed! haha.. okok.. gotta go get ready.. thanks anyway for all the birthday wishes.. it really overwhelms me to know that so many ppl actually remembered my burfdae and wished me on the dot.. thank you thank you thank you.. some ppl tink i'm da luckiest girl in the world and to that i'd say i couldn't agree more.. i'm so blessed to have such wonderful frens =))

p.s. those who din manage to catch me on chef sos can personally ask me for the video.. i know yilin's the first on the list.. heh..

you know ar.. if there's anyone who can do advertising best.. it would be my mother.. thanks to her everyone now has this perception that i am some hot high-flying model and actress.. boy wouldn't everyone be so stumped when they find out that they've been taken for a complete ride? geez.. i wouldn't wanna be there when they do find out.. hah!

ok.. let me do some recap of what happened last month since i was too busy juggling exams with the pageant to even have time to do anything else, much less blog..

so it all started out with my mom seeing the dewa dewi 2008 ad in the papers and she was asking me to join it.. and i was like dowan la! but then i tot abt it and it wouldnt hurt for me to give it a try and cheer her up a little as she was goin thru a rough patch.. the bf was reluctant at first to let me join cos there would be photoshoots with other guys but in the end i managed to drag him along too..

at the semi-finals, i din exactly bothered much abt my makeup.. i basically did my normal make up and hoped for the best.. i reached expo and saw every other contestant in bridal makeup and i went "Holy cow.. makeup does do wonders"... so anyway i was already feeling that i was damned and i should have listened to my mom and put on more makeup (cos she insist that if i'm not gonna put that much gunk on my face then i shouldnt even join in the first place).. i wanted to leave but den i thought since i was already there i might as well just go up there and be a gracious loser..

as it turns out i got thru to the top 10 finalists and all my mom said was it was pure luck that i was chosen and i should thank the judges cos i was merely a plain jane compared to everyone else with makeup.. it's quite embarrassing cos it was (later) obvious in pictures that i din have as much makeup on as the rest and my face looked oily and "melekit".. but yeah.. i thanked my lucky stars for all that.. and plus... the bf got to the top 10 too.. double happiness!..

so the next week we had photoshoots for the magazine and a month later we started having rehearsals and learning dance choreography to the songs "Expressi" and also a compilation of songs from hindustani movies.. it was fun and me and the bf ended up with diff partners anyway which totally defeats the purpose.. haha.. on the 16th of may was the subsidary awards and i din get any so i thought i wud prob not get anything at all for this comp and not even during finals and also cos i thought abg zul hated me.. prob the only nice memory ever was when Suzana Abu (hot model + freelance catwalk instructor+ one of the judges) said "her catwalk is very natural/good" (not sure the exact word cos my sources were conflicting but it was either one la).. and made me strut up and down while saying to everyone "See.. this is the correct way to catwalk. I want all of you to learn from her." i can tell you that my head swelled like 10 times bigger until i couldnt go thru the door anymore.. ok i'm so lame i noe..

well.. so anyway.. it came as a huge surprise when i was named 1st Runner up that nite and i cant tell you how happy i was.. got myself a trophy, flight ticket + accom to bangkok annnndddd 500 bucks!! so worth it la i tell you.. all the emotional roller coasters, all the drama and all the energy spent.. wohhh.. Alhamdulillah =)

and so.. since they din ask me for a speech (like duh) i shall shamelessly make one here just to tell those who have supported me how much i truly appreciate their support..



To my mom: the one who made every effort to come down for every single show there was.. even if it means having to bring both my aged grandmothers along and having to look after them and ensure that they get seats for the show and even bringing a spare chair just in case there wasn't enough for my two grandmas.. it was an amazing act of filial piety and it touched more hearts than you can ever imagine.. and the fact that you've been supporting me thru everything.. no amount of words can express my gratitude.. on another note.. thank you so much.. if not for you i wouldnt be $500 richer.. hehe..



To my girls: you guys are heaven-sent... having been there thru almost everything in my life, be it my pageants, my flesh imp shows and other nonsense that i do.. you guys are like my number one supporters and i swear i couldnt ask for better ones. it was worth dumping my old hypocritical friends to be with the four of you.. you guys encourage me without sniggering or putting me down behind my back and if there was any defect in my character, you guys would point it out with sincere hopes of seeing me become a better person and i can never thank you enough for all that.. thank you so much once again for your support and screams (and smses in zee's case=p).. i owe you guys a whole lot more than that supper treat...

To those who msged me your well-wishes: thank you so much for the kind thought.. it's pleasing to know that i am worth a little time in your life to get your well-wishes and sincere care =)



To the bf: for having gone through this journey with me. It was quite a task having to see each other every single day at rehearsal and it almost drive us crazy sometimes but we pretty much managed. i'm sure rehearsals wouldn't have been so endurable if not for your presence. i love you.

and not forgetting those who used to insult me and put me down since i was young.. yes i was that short, ugly, irritating girl you insulted.. but i can throw all those right back into your face from where i stand now.. it's just too bad isn't it? it's like a sick joke backfired. serves. you. fucking. right.



anyhoos.. pics are over at facebook =)

Just because... i tink my cats are damn cute.. hah..

one of my kittens, chocolate, died earlier this morning ard 4 am shortly after i came back from supper with the girls.. you know how they always say.. if you laugh too much you'll end up crying? well it seemed as if that was what happened to me.. chocolate was the biggest, fattest, loudest and naughtiest of them all and it was a really sad picture to see her lying down and barely moving.. all she did was puke, salivate and secrete some sticky liquid from her anus.. it was damn painful to see her like dat. and seeing her breath slowing and her eyes barely open.. and i really feel so guilty cos i felt like i caused her death.. if i had brought her to da vet earlier in the evening instead of waiting for my mom to come back.. and us wanting to save on the consultation fees cos it's like $299 at night as compared to $39 in the day and we thought she wud be able to make it through till morning.. well we thought wrong and i still feel so damn guilty.. when my mom first told me chocolate died.. i din believe it and kept shaking her body calling her name to wake her up even though i know there is no longer a pulse.. then i kept imagining she moved and that she was still alive.. we went to bury her somewhere behind my house and i cried throughout the whole time and all thru morning before i finally fell asleep at 8am.. you can call me over-dramatic or wateva but that wud only be because you've never experienced looking after the kittens with so much love from the day they were born until this one has to die.. it's almost like looking after my own child already and the loss is really painful..

Chocolate, you'll be dreadfully missed.
(15-03-08 to 06-06-08)

ok jus a quickie update.

tomorrow, 16th May 2008, Singapore expo hall 5- subsidiary awards (i.e. miss best catwalk blah blah)

monday 19th May 2008, same venue- title awards (first second third)

most prob held around 5pm..

whoever's coming.. see you guys there! =)

11 changes of outfit
tons of sanggul for the hair
a quarter an inch of make up
tubes of lip glosses
and 7 hours of pain.

that's how much it takes to publish an entire album of wedding photos.

so those who drop by Anugerah Weddings by Anjani.. help yourself to a whole album starred by yours truly.

details of my pageant with zul radi will be in da next post.

khadi we love you =)

as luck would have it i wasn't able to sit in class and have multiple mental orgasms listening to mr cotterell because my bf became a victim of a fight and ended up in A&E.. he had a wine glass thrown to his head and needed stitches to it.. now he's absolutely crushed not because of the pain but because he wouldn't be able to look good for the upcoming pageant..

and if i ever knew a complete humbug, this bf of mine tops it all.. oh don't we all know that already..

p.s. thank you zee for all the helpful info you gave me and your attempts at searching for my bf while you're at home.. i can't imagine how grateful i am having a nurse for a friend for the countless times you've given me aid in these kind of situations =)

geez it's been ages since i've blogged.. i've always found so many things blogworthy but at the end of the day i'll forget them all.. hah..

anyway.. ok i wouldnt have admitted it (cos i wanted to still win eunice) but i can really feel it right now... why are my exams not even here yettt????? i wanna go party with my girlsss!!!! urghhhh.. stupid mugging.. and that's the reason for lack of updates too la.. and not forgetting showering constant attention to my baby boy and spending precious and happyhappymerry times with my beloved gfs.. heh..

and the boy has now found his rival to my attention and it's making him VERY exasperated.. that is my new eyelash extensions.. i keep going "B! my eyelashes!" at the rate of once every half an hour cos somethin will jus happen to it everytime i'm out with him.. those of you who tink eyelash extensions are like a solution to the hassle of falsies (something i mistakenly believed.. how stupid i feel now).. i'm telling you.. extensions require wayyyy more attention and care than those falsies.. imagine:

1) you have to avoid contact with water in every way possible.. can you imagine how i've been showering without being able to wash and scrub my face and having only to rely on wet wipes to clean my face?

2) you cannot be too violent with them... imagine when you're faced with a situation where you have 3 drunk and very merry girlfrens wanting to dance with you constantly? very le difficult la.. (oh but i managed.. tee hee)

3) you have to make sure you're not too violent in your sleep.. i maintain this half asleep thing where i'm asleep but very constantly aware of my position.. only the bf would tell me that he has jostled my left eyelashes or he has picked out one strand off the right one when i wake up.. not funny eh hallo..

4) $130 (in my case) worth of hassles..

5) i cant even genyeh my eyes like i'm used to when they're itchy... and the bf is making an act out of my misery.. he sure is..

6) you have to constantly ensure that they're not going out of shape or "layu" or whatever

7) i cant even cry.. so fighting with the bf is no fun no more.. cant cry so spoil da mood all la can..

8) aiyah it's jus damn leceh la ok compared to sticking them on and removing when you're done..

the bf has finally realised that having a vain partner is truly annoying... there you go bf! take a walk in my 4-inch heels and having you constantly checking yourself out.. heh! he actually burst out yesterday and went.. "BBBB!! you are so aNNNNoyinGGGG" (with emphasis on the relevant parts and an act cute face) and i was like huh? wat did i do? and so he did an imitation of me goin "B my eyelashes" and fluttered his eyelashes non-stop.. hehe.. damn funny la.. i do admit that i'm acting a bit like a bimbo over this eyelash thingy but i see it as a way to get myself out of a mess cos i would jus flutter my eyelashes and get my way (tho the bf is smarter and refused to look at me but i shall assume that my entrapment works!).. aiyah i tink it's jus a phase la.. i'm sure i'll get over it soon enuf.. heh..

oh btw.. on a completely irrelevant point.. my public law lecturer today was so hot.. he looks a lil like will smith and he's very very wise.. how very very hot.. if there's one thing droolworthy is a man who is hot AND smart.. which i cant say of many men these days.. one man i would have loved to meet is Lord Denning, one of the most notorious, controversial and fucking smart judge in the UK... i would have loved to just sit down and listen to him talk.. it would have been an orgasm to the ears if not a mental orgasm.. that said.. i saw a fucking hot classmate today.. diff class la but gathered together in da revision.. he goes under the list of my "fuckable" ppl.. you know the same list that typical guys have? yeah that one.. except mine covers both sexes and i'm not biased in any way except in looks la of course if not why create such a list in da first place..

anyway i tink i'm rambling on and on cos i'm stressed out.. even my lecturer can tell.. "eh nadiah.. why you look like you stressed out and all" and i go "hur hur of course i'm stressed out".. having said that.. i'm gonna continue rambling... that day i went out to celebrate the anniversary with the bf and it was damn sweet la.. the bf got me a rose and we went for dinner and we went to watch the orphanage.. ya la this happened a long time to go but i haven been blogging and i feel like talking a lot now so yeah.. the orphanage is damn good.. PLEASE go get the dvd and watch it.. i wont give you a movie review but i would give you an observation..

Before the movie:
the bf: B.. when the movie starts if i fall asleep you dun get angry ok?
me: but B... then it's gonna be such a waste.. and it's such a great movie..
The start of the movie:
the bf: wat movie is this???
me: hee... i forgot to tell you it's in spanish..
the bf: oh my god.. the more i'm gonna sleep
Middle of the movie:
me: oh my god b i cant watch this... b!! i cant watch this!! (covering my face and grabbing on to him)
the bf: (eyes intent on the screen) den ok la! just close your eyes and shut up!
me: wat?? you asked me to shut up?
the bf: ya la! i want to watch the movie!

so yah.. from someone who was so confident he was gonna sleep to someone who told me to shut up cos he wanted to listen (tho i'm not sure wat he was listenin to since it was in spanish).. so there you go.. coming from someone who hardly appreciates good literature.. that should convince you to watch it.. heh.. i've got pictures but i'll upload them next time.. heh..

i'm gonna take this opportunity to drop some names and broadcast my appreciation.. to ashton and niven.. you guys are the best bros anyone can ever have.. thanks for making me a bro too, all our stories of wanking and all the stupid jokes shared making me feel as if i'm a guy myself.. and for the horrible period of time i went thru.. thank you for having been there for me and trying to cheer me up (we went to burger king and they bought me a crown telling me that i deserve the BEST cos i'm a queen.. so sweet rite of them?!).. and i truly apologise for the fact that BOTH of you had been on the receiving end of his temper.. thanks bros.. no matter which course i choose to take in the end.. you guys would still be the best classmates i ever had =)

i've got like a lot more to blabber but i guess it'll be for another post or probably never at the rate i'm goin.. have to go to sleep now.. got class tomoro morning at ten.. i know.. who's got class on sundays rrritee???? but nvm... for the hot will smith lookalike lecturer.. mr curtiz cotterell.. i only pray i shant have wet dreams of you tonight before seeing you tomoro.. oh and also not forgetting my extra scrumpalicious bf.. night everyone!

ok my mom wants to throw away the cats already =(( so those who want them PLEASE tell me like ASAP! there are four kittens and one mother cat.. pls tell me which one you want.. thanks!

Hey check this out!!!

Study pours cold water on drinking eight glasses a day

AFP - Friday, April 4

WASHINGTON (AFP) - - Drinking enough to quench your thirst is sufficient for the body's needs, and there is no evidence to support the common advice to drink eight glasses of water a day, according to a new study.

"Just drink when you are thirsty," was the advice from a study published Thursday in the Journal of the American Society of Nephrology.

Doctors from the University of Pennsylvania said "there is simply a lack of evidence in general" that everyone should drink the recommended 1.5 litres of water a day.

Researchers Dan Negoianu and Stanley Goldfarb had examined the theory that drinking more water helped the kidneys flush more toxins from the body.

"So the question is does drinking more water increase these normal important functions of the kidneys. And the answer is no," Goldfarb told NPR radio.

"In fact, drinking large amounts of water, actually and surprisingly, tends to reduce the ability of the kidney to function as a filter."

Water has also been touted as an ideal aid to those who want to lose weight. But while drinking more helps dieters feel full, no clinical study has proved that it will help keep the weight off.

"There were some studies that suggested that in fact, calorie intake was reduced when individuals were given water prior to eating. Other studies suggested that it wasn't," Goldfarb added.

Increased water intake was only really justified in extreme cases, such as for athletes, people living in hot, dry climates and those suffering from particular illnesses.

Source: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20080404/tts-health-us-water-972e412.html

there you go!! hah! i for one have never lived by that rule and certainly never believed in its worthiness.. so yeah.. i know i'm random la fuck..

i don't know how one day of double happiness can turn into a whole week of double jeopardy and double unhapiness..

oh wells..

sometimes i feel a sudden wave of sadness everytime i look into the mirror getting ready for an event.. friends are busy planning their weddings.. i'm busy preparing for a make-believe one... wearing all the costumes and feeling the texture on my skin minus the wedding jitters.. by the time i really do get married, i prob wont get excited over the pretty gowns anymore.. which is damn fuckin sad.. hell.. i can't even see myself planning it and how even more depressing is that.. i'm so pathetic.. at an age where there's supposed to be something concrete.. i only have somethin as concrete as a tofu.. bah!

sigh.

gotta go sleep now. they're gonna paint my face again later. and all the costumes would remind me of what's far and beyond. or even an unreachable fantasy. and they mock me. hell they do. even my reflection does.


gah.

men.


Me, Myself and I. We're just fine.